bigslim

This was the best title I could come up with. I haven’t logged on in a while. I got off the computer & onto the treadmill & into the parks as the weather began to improve. I am happy to say that I lost 12 pounds & did so in a healthful manner.

Now that finances are struggling so much…I find myself struggling with eating & exercising. I am about to have to put my gym membership on hold, have no money for a sitter & am feeling like utter crud unless eating chocolate, downing a glass of red wine or drinking sugar & creamer loaded coffee. Then I feel like crap afterwards b/c I feel guilty & I know I am going to gain weight. This vicious yuckiness of a cycle is getting me again. Anyone felt the same way? Does anyone know how to snap out of this?

I have not written on here in a while. Truthfully… I should be cleaning at this very moment. I have only written 2 blogs & both were about the pitfalls of trying to lose weight. I am pleased to announce that I have lost 3 pounds. WOO HOO!!! Pounds really can be shed! It has taken ALOT of self discipline & ALOT of self motivation, but it’s working! The most important “change” that I have made over the past couple of weeks is eating less, eating more fiber & working out AT LEAST 45 minutes a day! It has made a difference in my life so I thought I would share.

Does anyone else use food or creamy coffee as a vice? Am I nuts or after analyzing my big “why” as to my weight… I am seeing a viscious cycle. I eat even when I’m not hungry because it feels good during my eating. Then I get depressed because I’ve eaten plus my stomach hurts and I’m sluggish. A food hangover? I think I read someone call it that. But then because I’m bloated and feel unattractive and like I’ve failed at something…I eat again. I told my husband yesterday that a light bulb turned on in my head.

Just for yesterday… I did step aerobics mixed with cardio kickboxing for an hour, I counted calories (which strangely enough made me want to eat less & be accountable for what I was putting in my body), I drank 72 ounces of water, I then taught cheerleading for 2 hours. Just for yesterday I felt great and had more energy than I’ve had in weeks. Today I awoke with a smile and had no trouble getting out of bed. I know the viscious cycle will continue and something will make me feel bad, but I hope that I remember how wonderful I feel right now. Thank you to all that posted on my blog yesterday and all of the support. I really do like instant gratification, but if I take baby steps each day then maybe I will reach my goal weight. If nothing else I feel good just for today.

After weeks of trying to lose weight; I have gained it. I am frustrated, confused and honestly am just not motivated to do a darn thing. Why exercise? Why eat less? Why eat healthy? I thought I would join an online group to maybe see other’s success. Maybe this will help motivate me to get back on track. I don’t want to exercise everyday for an hour or more becuase I don’t have the time to do it. I don’t want to not eat because I enjoy food. I want to be healthy and happy again. I was so much happier with myself before I got pregnant with my son 3yrs ago. Now he’s 2 and I’ve gained 10 lbs. since he’s been born. What the heck?

I guess if you want something bad enough you sacrifice whatever you have to in order to accomplish your goal. Discipline and routine are definitely my problem. I’ve never had a situation where I didn’t see results within a week. If you have any suggestions or comments… I would love to hear them. It’s always nice to hear your not alone in the battle.